duke_of_illusions: (Default)
[personal profile] duke_of_illusions
Al had stayed over last night... and hasn't quite left this morning, either. The day is stretching on, and Barma is still beautifully comfortable, now immersed in a book, as his fingers trail through Al's hair.

Date: 2011-11-05 06:11 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (A place we could call home)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
"Nothing I can think of right now," he reassures him, leaning in to brush soft kisses over his cheeks.

"If I think of anything, I'll come right to you and ask."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"Do you get the same feelings after you've topped?"

Curious.

Date: 2011-11-05 06:37 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (Ghosts of the Gate)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
"Not as often," he confesses. "But if it's really intense, yes- or if I happened to come close to hurting someone. Or if I did."

Quietly.

"I cut Xerxes up one time. I wasn't in my right mind. He enjoyed it, but- I was cruel. The same thing happened with Ryo, but he was able to safeword and bring me out of it."

Al shakes his head.

"It's those times... when I realize I could be dangerous to someone I love. That's when it happens."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"It's about that altered state."

He explains.

"Talk to your partner."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:41 pm (UTC)
al_truism: ([Moon])
From: [personal profile] al_truism
A deep breath, and then he lets it out.

He never got a chance, with Break. He'd completely shut out that horror, never really dealt with the guilt.

Finally he nods.

"Do you ever get that?"

Date: 2011-11-05 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"I do. As you said, mostly after a scene with mixed results."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:47 pm (UTC)
al_truism: ([Sun])
From: [personal profile] al_truism
"... I just shut down."

He sighs. "I get numb and I withdraw, and lose track of time. I don't get teary unless I talk to someone."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"Will you stay the night?"

He offers, quietly.

"Tonight, I mean."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:50 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (Breathe Easier)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
"Please."

A little smile.

"I want to be here for you, too."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"Good."

He's going to need to keep close to him for a while, after this.

Date: 2011-11-05 06:53 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (Take to Wing)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
Al reaches out to stroke his hair, fingers trailing down the side of his neck, comforting.

"It's not your fault," he whispers, lips brushing his ear. "And not for a moment do I blame you."

Date: 2011-11-05 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"Neither was what happened to you."

He reminds him.

"With Ryo, with Break."

Date: 2011-11-06 03:31 am (UTC)
al_truism: (Say it like you love me)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
He nods, sighing.

"I worry for them. All this time..."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"I get the impression that Break also bottoms fairly heavily?"

Curious.

Date: 2011-11-06 07:30 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (My steel mask)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
"Much heavier than I do. Not as bad as Ryo, but enough to make me very cautious about playing with him, with my lack of skill."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"Then there's no excuse for him not to know about this."

Firm.

Date: 2011-11-06 07:35 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (Weeeelp.)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
Al nods just as firmly back, setting his jaw.

"I need to tell Lucifer too. He may know, but he also might not."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"He'd know- but perhaps you should ask him how it affects Break."

He shrugs.

"It'll give you insight into him, and force Lucifer to consider it himself."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:39 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (Alone Time)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
He nods, rubbing his cheek against Barma's.

"If it's about Break, he'll definitely consider it."

Al underestimates how much Lucifer actually does listen to him.

Date: 2011-11-06 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"I have very little insight into the workings of that particular relationship."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:43 pm (UTC)
al_truism: ([Sun])
From: [personal profile] al_truism
Al shakes his head.

"The more I think I understand it, the less I realize I do. Lucifer is... I don't have feelings for him myself, but they both include me enough to make it confusing."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"Please be careful."

Firm.

"Absolutely."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:51 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (A softer side of me)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
"I will be," he promises, with a soft sigh.

"I've got to be able to come home to you."

Date: 2011-11-06 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] info-barma.livejournal.com
"Thank you."

He says, quietly, but with real feeling. People haven't, in the past.

Date: 2011-11-06 07:55 pm (UTC)
al_truism: (Alone Time)
From: [personal profile] al_truism
Al strokes his hair slowly, thoughtfully, and brushes his lips against his forehead.

He knows.

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