duke_of_illusions | domesticity

His legs barely work, so he's very happy to flop down on the sheets, moving as close to Barma as he can get.

"I really love you."

Murmuring.

Al wraps himself close to him, smiling, and he has to swallow to make his throat work.

"I love you so much, Rufus."

"You stay right there. I'm putting the tea on."

And coming back quickly with a glass of water and a piece of chocolate.

"I didn't do anything for you yet," he protests weakly, moving to sit up a little to drink the water properly.

"Shush, darling, you're being taken care of today, your submission was everything."

Al seems to accept that, flushing a little and laying his cheek on Barma's shoulder, letting the chocolate melt against his tongue.

"... was wonderful."

"That was subspace."

He smiles.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"I like pain just as much," he decides, with a small smile. "I could do either. This is more vulnerable emotionally."

"This is a specific activity designed to alter your feelings, perceptions, etc. You'll probably feel high for a longer amount of time- and you may experience more of a drop off tomorrow."

Stroking up and down along his side.

Something about that last bit makes him frown.

"... the drop offs... they're a thing for other people, too?"

"...I didn't warn you about this?"

Frowning, instantly.

"... no one has."

Softly. Obviously this is a big deal.

"Al, I'm so sorry."

Stroking his hair.

"Sometimes, the morning after, your body can react with a sort of hangover-effect. For me, it manifests as a sort of teary-ness."

"... so that's normal?" Al leans into his touch.

"Yes. Another unfortunate side effect is that your mind will cast about for something to blame for what you're feeling. Self-doubt, recrimination, and frequently because of the timing a sense of self-disgust at what you've submitted to is normal."

He feels dreadful, heart aching as he tells him things he should have known months ago.

"It isn't real. It's your system coming down, and there are ways to make it go away."

"Thank goodness," he whispers softly, nuzzling into his shoulder.

"I'd thought..." A deep breath. "This is much better."

"I'm an idiot for not having told you."

Soft, horrified.

"You were so- practiced. I assumed you must know."

"It's not your fault."

Quick, firm. Al's arms slip around him, squeezing softly. "I never brought it up, I never asked anyone about it. Everyone I've been around probably assumed the same thing."

"I don't care about any of them. I'm entrusted with your welfare, when it comes to what we do together, and I should have made sure you understood."

Just as firm.

"But- for moving forward, the few things you should know. One, sugar. There's a reason I ply you with it."

Al nuzzles him, nodding.

Honestly, he's more relieved than anything.

Edited 2011-11-05 06:36 (UTC)

"Two, aside from that, a full and balanced meal. Plenty of fruit, bread, and meat."

Nuzzling him back.

"Even if you drag on your way to the kitchen- or just drag your way to my room, I'll always feed you. It'll help a great deal. Third- your top, dominant, or even more vanilla sexual partner, if it is just brought about by exertion."

Al nods again, warm and pressed close.

Just hearing all of this is a release.

"For the next- dozen or so times we play, I'm going to check on you in person the day afterwards. Either by having you stay over, or coming to find you."

Kissing him.

"And I'm going to kill Break."

Al's utterly fine with that. He nods, leaning into the kiss, utterly relaxing with him. He'd protest that he's fine, but he'd genuinely enjoy getting to see him so often.

At the last, though, his fingers tighten a little on Barma.

"... Rufus, nobody's probably ever told him. Or Ryo, for that matter..."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject