aftercare

[duke_of_illusions]

Barma wakes up an hour or so later, yawning.

Reaching to check on Al right away.

Comments

[al_truism]

"I would have gotten out," he tells him, wiping at his eyes.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You looked your worst fear in the eye."

Thumbing the tear away.

[al_truism]

"Every day," he whispers back, pressing his cheek into Barma's palm.

"Kiss me? Touch me? I need-"

[duke_of_illusions]

He pulls him into a deep kiss.

"Intense fear play; off the list."

Pulling him up against his body.

[al_truism]

Al wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him closer. He's exhausted, still shaky around the edges, but he needs this.

"No, just- just that. Abandonment."

[duke_of_illusions]

"I didn't realize, until you went to the window, that that was what was bad."

Kissing the top of his head.

[al_truism]

"That was it," he confirms, very softly. The shame is creeping in now.

[duke_of_illusions]

"I'm proud of you."

Kissing his forehead.

[al_truism]

"Why?"

Mildly astonished. Surely Barma's just used to saying that by now.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You faced your worst fear, silly thing."

[al_truism]

"... you can find any reason to be proud of me," he marvels, softly, and kisses him again.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Al, you faced your worst fear. Even I didn't intend to put you through that."

Scoffing.

[al_truism]

"I had a taste of it. An inkling. Surviving was more important right then.

If I had been left alone with it and nothing else, you would have seen something very different."

He half-smiles, sadly.

"My whole life has been made from facing terrible things. I've learned to stay alive before everything else. That wasn't the first time, and it won't be the last."

[duke_of_illusions]

"Well, it's the last here. If you ever end up in trouble, Dodo will be there with a flutter of a wing to save you."

[al_truism]

"How?"

Gently.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Because I have him watch you."

He admits, softly.

[al_truism]

"Always? Since-?"

[duke_of_illusions]

"Since-"

He has to think.

[al_truism]

"The attack?"

He sounds a little numb.

[duke_of_illusions]

"No."

Shaking his head.

[al_truism]

"After?"

Al sinks into a small bit of listlessness.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Sort of gradually. He started asking to."

[al_truism]

"... Dodo?"

Al reaches out a hand, into the air.

[duke_of_illusions]

"He isn't spying- if that's what you're worried about. He sometimes tries to tell me about you in his way, but it's only very birdish snatches of thought. Today, you nested- preened, molted- he thinks you're shiny, and tells me so."

[al_truism]

"Shiny?"

Al laughs, still not quite there. He keeps reaching, as if he can find Dodo.