pieces fall back into place.

[duke_of_illusions]

"I think it's the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done for me."

Barma sets the cane on the desk, and takes a careful step towards him, reaching for his hands.

Comments

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I'm not glass, Jack." Barma reminds him softly, lifting his legs a little so his knees can press on either side of him.

He is... a tiny bit emotional today, though he hides it well. This is an important step for him. It's proof that things are starting to return to normal for them, that Jack will heal.

He wants things back the way they were so very, very badly.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack blushed and pulled away, knowing that somewhere in his subconscious he was still holding himself back. He was still nervous, still a little frightened, still not over everything. He had only been with Glen for over two weeks, and had been back with Rufus now for a month, and here he was still acting so foolish over-

"I'm sorry."

It had not been so long since they had last made love. Jack could remember it well, how he'd let himself go completely and how Barma had always been there to catch him, but it was harder . . . this time. He felt embarrassed. He wanted Rufus to feel loved, but he wasn't even coming off as affectionate. Jack felt too trapped in his own mind, but wasn't sure of how to get out. First, Barma wanted things slow, but then Jack hadn't been coning forth with enough passion. Maybe there was something wrong with him, maybe he just needed more time. He loved Rufus, he knew that, and he wanted this for them, but if he wasn't going to be pleasing, or if he was going to let the past hold him back, then he wasn't sure what to do with himself.

He was being far too sensitive at this point.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I mean stop worrying."

Barma sits up with him, reaching for him, wrapping himself around him slowly and moving to trace fingers along the nape of Jack's neck. He leans in, so he can whisper in his ear.

"What are you afraid is going to happen? That we'll blunder? We've had countless blunders before, my darling. Knees in sides and lubricant spilled all over the floor, sheets tangled gracelessly around ankles and wobbly miscommunications. I remember each one of them with utter fondness."

His arms tighten around him.

"Let us do wrong. We'll laugh about it tomorrow. But don't be afraid. Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me what you'd like to do."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack leans in so that they are cheek to cheek and takes in a shaky breath, "I'm sorry, I just, want to be good for you." He was blushing because they had never really faced something quite like this. Their first time had been abrupt and messy and full of lust, and while Jack had had his share of insecurities along the way, it wasn't quite like this. They had gone a while without such affections, and Jack had spent two weeks belonging to someone else.

He was just scared and his fear ended up putting a great amount of unnecessary pressure on himself to be perfect for Rufus. One might even go so far as to say his love was adding pressure as well. "I just want to make you happy, happier than you've been because I-" He held it back. He felt so foolish getting so emotional over this, and he couldn't let things get worse. He was already so embarrassed for what he'd done so far.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack, my dear, even if we were to put it off another year, I'd still be happier than I've ever been."

He promises him, leaning in to kiss his jaw.

"If you're not ready, you're not ready. I would never hold that against you, no more than you would hold it against me if our positions were reversed. If you need to cry, you can. If you need me, you can have me. As long as you're here and safe I am content, my dear one."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

The words are too sweet, and a few tears fall, not because he is sad, but because he is too much in love.

"No, I-I am ready, I am, and I need you." He started kissing him again, more confidently, a little desperate that Rufus understand. "I love you. I love you." He pressed into Barma until his lover fell back into the bed. That familiar affection Barma was so used to returned. Perhaps Jack just needed assurance. Still, he wasn't sure he could gather himself to be the dominating one this evening. Rufus would certainly have to coddle his ego a bit more.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack, my Jack."

Barma can coddle him as much as he needs. Wrapping his arms up around him again, he starts stroking circles on his back.

"You have me. Don't forget that."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

He won't. Jack moves his fingers through Barma's short hair until it pools around his head on the sheets like a bloody halo. He takes a piece of flesh in his teeth and tickles it with his tongue only to nibble and kiss the same spot afterwards. With the clasps undone it is easy to slide the fabric of Barma's clothes aside enough to bare Barma's shoulder, which Jack nuzzles with his nose before kissing it sweetly, his hands traveling under clothes again to mark designs on Barma's chest.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

The duke cries out as Jack lays him easily bare, back arching in pleasure at each bite and kiss. He moans comfortably, hands clenching tight in the sheets, eyes closing. A warm flush rises in his face, throat, and part of the way down his chest.

He loves this.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack still has yet to remove Barma's clothes, and he seems in hurry to do so. With Barma's response, he not only feels more confident, but also more aroused which is helping him relax either way. Jack continues to play, marking a trail of saliva and teeth marks from Barma's shoulder and down his collar bone. When Rufus arches, his hand slips underneath him to scratch at the small of his back before traveling lower grab at his ass, moaning a little as he does so. With his left hand Jack's fingers dive back into Barma's hair only this time to gently tug it back to encourage Barma to bend his head back and arch his neck as well.

"Mmm-hh, Rufus."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack."

He bares his throat to him, obligingly, hips starting to lift up to rock against Jack's body. He likes the hair pulling. His eyes are half-lidded, now, expression lazy and pleased.

"I need you."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

"Say my name again like that," he moves to bite the other's neck only once before he whispers in his ear and proceeds to bite and suck on his earlobe, tracing curves with the tip of his tongue. His right hand moves out of his lover's pants and begins to pull free more of his clothing, baring Barma's chest. He plays absently with a nipple while he moves his mouth back down from his ear and to his neck once more.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack!"

Since he asked so very nicely, Barma continues to squirm and beg, wanting him rather desperately.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack is still fully clothed, but that's all right. He had an idea, a plan beforehand, until he realized how much he was over thinking things. Finally caught up int the moment, he simply did what felt natural, what he enjoyed, and what got the most response from Rufus.

Jack let go of the red hair and kissed him deeply, reaching his tongue far back and down his lover's tongue.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

It's suffocating, overwhelming, good. His legs hitch up around Jack's body, though he's still mindful of the hurt ankle but needing him desperately enough to be at least a little reckless.

He says his name again, but it comes out muffled into the kiss.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack breaks the kiss to breathe, and traces Barma's bottom lip with his tongue thoughtfully, considering a moment before he sits up and begins to free Rufus of his pants, being mindful of his ankle.

He touches his hip bone thoughtfully as well, fingers running along it, teasingly close to Barma's erection as they travel.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

Barma has lost weight since the fire, lost muscle since his ankle was hurt. He gives a self-conscious little hum, reaching down to cup Jack's cheek.

"I'm sorry, I-"

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack leans into the touch and closes his eyes, shaking his head a little and then kissing Barma's palm, "No, Rufus, you're beautiful, so much so I can't imagine looking upon any other body and feeling the same affection," he bends down a little awkwardly to kiss the other's stomach, "I'm sorry I was not here for you, but I am now, and you have nothing to worry about now, my love." He concentrated on Rufus, pressing a kiss to his cheek before running fingers dangerously close to his length, smiling sweetly.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

The words almost do him in. Hies eyes close tight, and emotion crosses his face suddenly. He almost looks pained. Delighted, happy, needing.

"Jack, my Jack."

He's said slow- but he needs him. Now.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack sees the desire, but don't realize the extent. Instead he sets to touching Rufus lovingly, though usually ending the trails his fingers make in scratches. It his his favorite thing, to just touch Rufus in all of those places, and his touches start painfully slow, but they soon pick up in pace, travelling to his inner thigh, and finally gracing his testes.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

A low, deep groan rocks him, and he arches from head to toe, surrendering to him silently and completely.

"I missed this."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

"So did I," Jack proceeds to use his lips and tongue now, touching Rufus first in his most sensitive spots and then going for the base of his member. Instead of trailing up, he reaches back further and takes part of Barma in his mouth, using his hand on his length instead. After a small nibble, his lips travel back up to his length and he licks from the base to tip gingerly.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack!"

His hips twist, and he lifts his hand to his mouth to bite down on it, breathless with pleasure.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack takes him in his mouth and begins to bob up and down, pressing his tongue against him.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Oh- oh stop, please, you must let me-"