pieces fall back into place.

[duke_of_illusions]

"I think it's the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done for me."

Barma sets the cane on the desk, and takes a careful step towards him, reaching for his hands.

Comments

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

"Then I'm not trying hard enough." Jack takes his hands and steadies him as the door closes behind him, locked. He lent down just enough to grace his lips against Barma's like a whisper. His mouth rested above Barma's ear, "I love you."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I love you too, Jack."

Barma puts his arms around him.

"Wicked Jack told me about trying to rattle you, to tell you I was your Glen."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

His eyes go a little wide at that, he never expected that to come up between them, especially that Jill admitted to it, "You mean . . . during the darkness?" With one hand Jack's fingers trace upwards along Barma's neck, over his jaw, up his cheek, until finally sliding into his hair, pulling his head back slightly with the gesture so that he may kiss his neck once, twice.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"He said it backfired spectacularly."

He smiles, cupping the back of Jack's head.

"And that you clearly loved me."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

He couldn't help but smile a little at that. Jack leaned down again and kissed Barma's lips softly, testing, before he deepened the the kiss slowly, so enraptured by the emotions and depth of feelings he had for Rufus that he could only move as if through water one touch sliding gently into another.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Are you ready for this, my dear?"

He murmurs against Jack's mouth, slowing him down.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack nuzzled his lover's neck and nodded. He would be all right. As long as he thought only of Rufus, and not of Glen, or more precisely the fear he carried with Glen, he would fine.

Still, he did not make a move for the bed, and he wasn't truly taking the initiative, but he was still lavishing Barma with affection.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"My foot."

He murmurs, nudging them in that direction. Affection can be lavished from a seated position.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack had forgotten, and color lighted his face instantly, "Ah, love, I'm so sorry," he kissed his lips suddenly and proceeded to pick Rufus up, gathering him in his arms, knowing he was only jumping to the other extreme, but not caring on that end.

The blonde laid him out gently on the bed and kissed him slowly there, a hand cradling Barma's head as he did so.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

Barma laughs at him, but surrenders to it happily, leaning up to kiss him as he winds arms around his back. He remains mostly passive- Jack needs to do this on is own, after the fear he's been living in.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

"Rufus," the name is whispered wantonly. "How could I ever take for granted . . . the sound of your laughter?" He kisses him a last time before he sits up, pulling Barma up into a sitting position as well. He takes the other's hadns in his and kisses each palm before moving to unlace Barma's boot. While he works on the one, him hand travels up the leg belonging to the injured foot to disappear under robes.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I don't laugh often."

He admits, reaching up to cup Jack's face with his hands, looking serene- if rather mussed. And debauched.

"Perhaps you forget."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack smiled, "Of course, you must be right."

The boot removed, he turned his attention to the bandages. Knowing that keeping the ankle in a certain position was key to it healing, he did not remove the bandages, he did, however, begin to kiss at Barma's toes, this time running both hands up his leg.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack-"

He complains, flopping backwards onto the bed, choking on a soft sound.

"That tickles."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

He knows. He wraps his mouth around his big toe and traces it with his tongue before coming up and crawling onto the bed again. "Rufus," he kissed him just above his temple, "I think that," and then beside his nose, "I've never felt," to the left of his chin, "this happy," his neck, "ever before," and finally his collar bone.

Jack's hands are working at the clasps of his lover's cloak, pants, and blouse, sliding underneath the folds of fabric expertly seeking them out.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I'm happy that you're happy. That you're home and safe."

He lets out a soft sound, reaching up to tug at his braid.

"Slow. Let's go slowly, Jack."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

His work finished, Barma needs only to slide his clothes off, but Jack leaves them, hoping to watch it happen naturally. He'd love to see Barma's shoulder be bared just slightly as he turns, or his shirt fall open as he twists.

Jack wasn't meaning to feel anxious, though he knew that he was. Still, the blonde wanted this to be a slow process, to be completely taken in once again by Rufus to be kept forever. He was sure now more than ever. He felt as though fate could have sent him no greater trial, that there was nothing left to do to prove to Rufus, and to himself, that he could love someone just as deeply if not more than he had loved Glen.

He made a mental note to apologize to Jill, to tel him that he had been wrong.

Jack pressed his lips to Barma's neck, and decided to play close attention there, performing his usual courtesies, though this time with a far more gentle air as though he were enchanted.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I'm not glass, Jack." Barma reminds him softly, lifting his legs a little so his knees can press on either side of him.

He is... a tiny bit emotional today, though he hides it well. This is an important step for him. It's proof that things are starting to return to normal for them, that Jack will heal.

He wants things back the way they were so very, very badly.

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack blushed and pulled away, knowing that somewhere in his subconscious he was still holding himself back. He was still nervous, still a little frightened, still not over everything. He had only been with Glen for over two weeks, and had been back with Rufus now for a month, and here he was still acting so foolish over-

"I'm sorry."

It had not been so long since they had last made love. Jack could remember it well, how he'd let himself go completely and how Barma had always been there to catch him, but it was harder . . . this time. He felt embarrassed. He wanted Rufus to feel loved, but he wasn't even coming off as affectionate. Jack felt too trapped in his own mind, but wasn't sure of how to get out. First, Barma wanted things slow, but then Jack hadn't been coning forth with enough passion. Maybe there was something wrong with him, maybe he just needed more time. He loved Rufus, he knew that, and he wanted this for them, but if he wasn't going to be pleasing, or if he was going to let the past hold him back, then he wasn't sure what to do with himself.

He was being far too sensitive at this point.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I mean stop worrying."

Barma sits up with him, reaching for him, wrapping himself around him slowly and moving to trace fingers along the nape of Jack's neck. He leans in, so he can whisper in his ear.

"What are you afraid is going to happen? That we'll blunder? We've had countless blunders before, my darling. Knees in sides and lubricant spilled all over the floor, sheets tangled gracelessly around ankles and wobbly miscommunications. I remember each one of them with utter fondness."

His arms tighten around him.

"Let us do wrong. We'll laugh about it tomorrow. But don't be afraid. Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me what you'd like to do."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

Jack leans in so that they are cheek to cheek and takes in a shaky breath, "I'm sorry, I just, want to be good for you." He was blushing because they had never really faced something quite like this. Their first time had been abrupt and messy and full of lust, and while Jack had had his share of insecurities along the way, it wasn't quite like this. They had gone a while without such affections, and Jack had spent two weeks belonging to someone else.

He was just scared and his fear ended up putting a great amount of unnecessary pressure on himself to be perfect for Rufus. One might even go so far as to say his love was adding pressure as well. "I just want to make you happy, happier than you've been because I-" He held it back. He felt so foolish getting so emotional over this, and he couldn't let things get worse. He was already so embarrassed for what he'd done so far.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack, my dear, even if we were to put it off another year, I'd still be happier than I've ever been."

He promises him, leaning in to kiss his jaw.

"If you're not ready, you're not ready. I would never hold that against you, no more than you would hold it against me if our positions were reversed. If you need to cry, you can. If you need me, you can have me. As long as you're here and safe I am content, my dear one."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

The words are too sweet, and a few tears fall, not because he is sad, but because he is too much in love.

"No, I-I am ready, I am, and I need you." He started kissing him again, more confidently, a little desperate that Rufus understand. "I love you. I love you." He pressed into Barma until his lover fell back into the bed. That familiar affection Barma was so used to returned. Perhaps Jack just needed assurance. Still, he wasn't sure he could gather himself to be the dominating one this evening. Rufus would certainly have to coddle his ego a bit more.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Jack, my Jack."

Barma can coddle him as much as he needs. Wrapping his arms up around him again, he starts stroking circles on his back.

"You have me. Don't forget that."

[hero-of-sabrie.livejournal.com]

He won't. Jack moves his fingers through Barma's short hair until it pools around his head on the sheets like a bloody halo. He takes a piece of flesh in his teeth and tickles it with his tongue only to nibble and kiss the same spot afterwards. With the clasps undone it is easy to slide the fabric of Barma's clothes aside enough to bare Barma's shoulder, which Jack nuzzles with his nose before kissing it sweetly, his hands traveling under clothes again to mark designs on Barma's chest.