domesticity

[duke_of_illusions]

Al had stayed over last night... and hasn't quite left this morning, either. The day is stretching on, and Barma is still beautifully comfortable, now immersed in a book, as his fingers trail through Al's hair.

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[al_truism]

It won't take him terribly long, not with this sort of stimulation.

Only a few minutes and he's writhing in Barma's hands, crying out. So close.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"So proud-"

He tells him, softly.

[al_truism]

Al comes with a start, getting both Barma's hand and the floor sticky. He leans back against him, gasping to get his breath back.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

Barma smiles, and moves to guide him onto the bed.

[al_truism]

His legs barely work, so he's very happy to flop down on the sheets, moving as close to Barma as he can get.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I really love you."

Murmuring.

[al_truism]

Al wraps himself close to him, smiling, and he has to swallow to make his throat work.

"I love you so much, Rufus."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"You stay right there. I'm putting the tea on."

And coming back quickly with a glass of water and a piece of chocolate.

[al_truism]

"I didn't do anything for you yet," he protests weakly, moving to sit up a little to drink the water properly.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Shush, darling, you're being taken care of today, your submission was everything."

[al_truism]

Al seems to accept that, flushing a little and laying his cheek on Barma's shoulder, letting the chocolate melt against his tongue.

"... was wonderful."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"That was subspace."

He smiles.

"I'm glad you liked it."

[al_truism]

"I like pain just as much," he decides, with a small smile. "I could do either. This is more vulnerable emotionally."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"This is a specific activity designed to alter your feelings, perceptions, etc. You'll probably feel high for a longer amount of time- and you may experience more of a drop off tomorrow."

Stroking up and down along his side.

[al_truism]

Something about that last bit makes him frown.

"... the drop offs... they're a thing for other people, too?"

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"...I didn't warn you about this?"

Frowning, instantly.

[al_truism]

"... no one has."

Softly. Obviously this is a big deal.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Al, I'm so sorry."

Stroking his hair.

"Sometimes, the morning after, your body can react with a sort of hangover-effect. For me, it manifests as a sort of teary-ness."

[al_truism]

"... so that's normal?" Al leans into his touch.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Yes. Another unfortunate side effect is that your mind will cast about for something to blame for what you're feeling. Self-doubt, recrimination, and frequently because of the timing a sense of self-disgust at what you've submitted to is normal."

He feels dreadful, heart aching as he tells him things he should have known months ago.

"It isn't real. It's your system coming down, and there are ways to make it go away."

[al_truism]

"Thank goodness," he whispers softly, nuzzling into his shoulder.

"I'd thought..." A deep breath. "This is much better."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I'm an idiot for not having told you."

Soft, horrified.

"You were so- practiced. I assumed you must know."

[al_truism]

"It's not your fault."

Quick, firm. Al's arms slip around him, squeezing softly. "I never brought it up, I never asked anyone about it. Everyone I've been around probably assumed the same thing."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I don't care about any of them. I'm entrusted with your welfare, when it comes to what we do together, and I should have made sure you understood."

Just as firm.

"But- for moving forward, the few things you should know. One, sugar. There's a reason I ply you with it."

[al_truism]

Al nuzzles him, nodding.

Honestly, he's more relieved than anything.