aftercare

[duke_of_illusions]

Barma wakes up an hour or so later, yawning.

Reaching to check on Al right away.

Comments

[al_truism]

Al's heart gives a strong, unsteady flutter, and he melts back into Barma's arms.

He's shaking with the adrenaline.

[duke_of_illusions]

All of it melts. He lays him down on the bed, they've been here all along. The room is open and cool, and smells of violets and their cucumber soup.

"I have you, it's all right, I have you."

[al_truism]

Al curls up into him and immediately has to hold back tears. Unsuccessfully.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Cry it out, darling."

Hand stroking down his back.

[al_truism]

Al does, in soft, wracking sobs that sound painful with how breathless they are. Finally, when Al begins to calm down, Barma will get a fist walloping him in the ribs. Graceless and not at full power, but enough to ache and possibly make him wheeze on the next breath.

"Don't- don't ever do that to me again-"

[duke_of_illusions]

"Ow!"

Wheezing, reaching out an arm to him.

"Alphonse, you can be upset, but you can't misbehave."

[al_truism]

Al pulls away from him immediately, backing away from his touch.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Al, look at me."

Calm, almost silent.

"It's over, and if you didn't enjoy the ride I'll never do it again, all right? I promise."

[al_truism]

"You made me think you'd left me there."

He grips the sheets, spitting out the words. He's angry, pained, looking like he's about to cry.

"You told me we'd stopped playing and then you left me there."

[duke_of_illusions]

"Breathe. I was never more than two feet away from you. I'd never let anything happen to you, and I'm sorry."

Very gentle.

[al_truism]

"You can't leave-"

He whispers, and his voice breaks.

It wasn't the fire. It wasn't the danger. It was the thought of Barma leaving him behind. Of being forgotten.

Again.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Never."

Crossing to him, fast.

"You will never, ever, ever be left."

[al_truism]

Alphonse ducks his head against him, shivering hard. The tears are silent now.

[duke_of_illusions]

Barma wraps him up tight in his arms, hanging on. Whisking the world away.

The woods, as he'd described them. Lovely, tall, autumnal, with the dawn light filtering through the leaves, the crackle of ferns around their feet, the rough beat of a bird's wings in the air.

[al_truism]

Al doesn't bother looking up. He just grips Barma's shirt and tries to fight back all the fear, all the old pain he thought he'd numbed out and learned to simply accept.

It was one thing to have someone disappear. It was quite another to believe, even for a moment, that someone he loved would deliberately abandon him.

Gradually, he stops shaking, but he doesn't open his eyes.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You felt it, you survived it, you're still here."

Licking his bottom lip.

[al_truism]

Al slowly opens his eyes, though it takes a few seconds to focus on him.

"I'm still mad," he whispers, but doesn't protest the touching.

[duke_of_illusions]

"I'm still sorry. But I'm also still proud of you."

Smiling down at him.

[al_truism]

"I would have gotten out," he tells him, wiping at his eyes.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You looked your worst fear in the eye."

Thumbing the tear away.

[al_truism]

"Every day," he whispers back, pressing his cheek into Barma's palm.

"Kiss me? Touch me? I need-"

[duke_of_illusions]

He pulls him into a deep kiss.

"Intense fear play; off the list."

Pulling him up against his body.

[al_truism]

Al wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him closer. He's exhausted, still shaky around the edges, but he needs this.

"No, just- just that. Abandonment."

[duke_of_illusions]

"I didn't realize, until you went to the window, that that was what was bad."

Kissing the top of his head.

[al_truism]

"That was it," he confirms, very softly. The shame is creeping in now.