aftercare

[duke_of_illusions]

Barma wakes up an hour or so later, yawning.

Reaching to check on Al right away.

Comments

[duke_of_illusions]

"Breathe. I was never more than two feet away from you. I'd never let anything happen to you, and I'm sorry."

Very gentle.

[al_truism]

"You can't leave-"

He whispers, and his voice breaks.

It wasn't the fire. It wasn't the danger. It was the thought of Barma leaving him behind. Of being forgotten.

Again.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Never."

Crossing to him, fast.

"You will never, ever, ever be left."

[al_truism]

Alphonse ducks his head against him, shivering hard. The tears are silent now.

[duke_of_illusions]

Barma wraps him up tight in his arms, hanging on. Whisking the world away.

The woods, as he'd described them. Lovely, tall, autumnal, with the dawn light filtering through the leaves, the crackle of ferns around their feet, the rough beat of a bird's wings in the air.

[al_truism]

Al doesn't bother looking up. He just grips Barma's shirt and tries to fight back all the fear, all the old pain he thought he'd numbed out and learned to simply accept.

It was one thing to have someone disappear. It was quite another to believe, even for a moment, that someone he loved would deliberately abandon him.

Gradually, he stops shaking, but he doesn't open his eyes.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You felt it, you survived it, you're still here."

Licking his bottom lip.

[al_truism]

Al slowly opens his eyes, though it takes a few seconds to focus on him.

"I'm still mad," he whispers, but doesn't protest the touching.

[duke_of_illusions]

"I'm still sorry. But I'm also still proud of you."

Smiling down at him.

[al_truism]

"I would have gotten out," he tells him, wiping at his eyes.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You looked your worst fear in the eye."

Thumbing the tear away.

[al_truism]

"Every day," he whispers back, pressing his cheek into Barma's palm.

"Kiss me? Touch me? I need-"

[duke_of_illusions]

He pulls him into a deep kiss.

"Intense fear play; off the list."

Pulling him up against his body.

[al_truism]

Al wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him closer. He's exhausted, still shaky around the edges, but he needs this.

"No, just- just that. Abandonment."

[duke_of_illusions]

"I didn't realize, until you went to the window, that that was what was bad."

Kissing the top of his head.

[al_truism]

"That was it," he confirms, very softly. The shame is creeping in now.

[duke_of_illusions]

"I'm proud of you."

Kissing his forehead.

[al_truism]

"Why?"

Mildly astonished. Surely Barma's just used to saying that by now.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You faced your worst fear, silly thing."

[al_truism]

"... you can find any reason to be proud of me," he marvels, softly, and kisses him again.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Al, you faced your worst fear. Even I didn't intend to put you through that."

Scoffing.

[al_truism]

"I had a taste of it. An inkling. Surviving was more important right then.

If I had been left alone with it and nothing else, you would have seen something very different."

He half-smiles, sadly.

"My whole life has been made from facing terrible things. I've learned to stay alive before everything else. That wasn't the first time, and it won't be the last."

[duke_of_illusions]

"Well, it's the last here. If you ever end up in trouble, Dodo will be there with a flutter of a wing to save you."

[al_truism]

"How?"

Gently.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Because I have him watch you."

He admits, softly.