aftercare

[duke_of_illusions]

Barma wakes up an hour or so later, yawning.

Reaching to check on Al right away.

Comments

[al_truism]

"His name is Luca. He's convinced that Negi and I will get married and have babies, and he's very adamant about that."

Al rubs his cheek against Barma's shoulder. He considers Luca to be his own, and it shows.

"I read him bedtime stories. He falls asleep on me."

[duke_of_illusions]

"It sounds perfect."

Arms snug about him.

[al_truism]

"He's the only thing keeping me sane right now. Him and Negi."

Al welcomes the tight holds, relaxes into it.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Things are stressful?"

Nibbling.

[al_truism]

Al makes a noise at the nibble, flushing and squirming a touch.

"I'm both the elected Ombudsman of the city and the commander of the only guard organization we have, mainly because the previous commander manages to mess things up beyond repair and left me as his second. Throw in the fact that the city is being roamed by carnivores bigger than some of the buildings and the fact that Ed just went through surgery on both of his automail ports and needs around-the-clock care-"

Al sounds stressed just listing it.

[duke_of_illusions]

"...that isn't really supposed to be how an ombudsman works."

Perplexed.

"It's deliberately external to the command structure. You shouldn't have that much pressure on you."

[al_truism]

"I know, it's a conflict of interest. But there's no one else both willing and able to do the job right now. Not that the others would put their trust in."

[duke_of_illusions]

"Give up the ombudsmans job. It's better suited for someone aggressive and confrontational."

Kissing his forehead.

[al_truism]

"I can't lead."

His performance would say otherwise. But he's never been comfortable with it.

[duke_of_illusions]

"And yet, you have been."

Reasonable.

[al_truism]

"Only because they've needed me. We all would have fallen apart in the fires if I hadn't stepped in. Everyone was just -- suddenly there. Asking me for orders."

And he'd given them. And they had pulled through.

"My judgment has never been perfect, Ru, I-"

He looks down at his hands, shuts his eyes.

"There will come a time when things are going to go wrong. I'll make the wrong call. And someone is going to get killed, and it will be my fault."

[duke_of_illusions]

"Al, look at me."

Taking him gently by the jaw.

"I've had that happen."

He survived. He is who he is today.

[al_truism]

"I can't."

Soft, almost pleading. For once, he looks as young as he is.

[duke_of_illusions]

"It'll hurt, but you'll come out stronger."

[al_truism]

"... I can think of even less people suited for my elected position."

But he isn't arguing.

[duke_of_illusions]

"Strongarm Break into it. He owes you."

Tsking.

[al_truism]

"Nobody would accept him in that position. The population sees him as Lucifer's dog, at best."

Al is uncharacteristically blunt when he says it.

"And even I've questioned his judgment there."

[duke_of_illusions]

"Hm."

Not sure what to think of that.

[al_truism]

"... I would have. Before the mess over there. But I- won't say as much to him. It would break his heart."

[duke_of_illusions]

"What happened? Did he kill someone?"

Curious.

[al_truism]

"He nearly got himself killed trying to save Lucifer's life."

Softly.

"Lucifer is- he's terrible over there."

[duke_of_illusions]

"Good."

Stretching out.

[al_truism]

"Good?"

Carefully.

[duke_of_illusions]

"You know what I think of his judgement. I'm glad other people see it."

That's all.

[al_truism]

As sour as it feels, Barma is right.

Al goes quiet, shutting his eyes against the pain. He hates doubting anyone he loves.