domesticity

[duke_of_illusions]

Al had stayed over last night... and hasn't quite left this morning, either. The day is stretching on, and Barma is still beautifully comfortable, now immersed in a book, as his fingers trail through Al's hair.

Comments

[al_truism]

Al squirms just listening to that.

"This person knows what they're talking about."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"If you're right handed, stand on their left side and steady them by resting your left hand on the front of their left hip. Place the tip of your crop slightly beyond the centre of their right buttock and rest the shaft of the crop on their skin. Slowly run the crop up to the top of their buttocks, then down to just above the backs of their knees, thus defining and claiming the area to be whipped. Gradually narrow the area of this stroking until you are stroking only the lower half of their buttocks. Reduce this stroking still further until your crop is completely still.

Hold that stillness for a moment, then say to your submissive, "I'm going to start out very lightly and build very slowly. I'll stop every now and then to give you some pleasure and let you rest. We won't go further than you can handle. Tell me your safewords."

Once your submissive has recited their safewords, ask them, "are you willing to go on?" If they nod or say yes, begin the whipping."

[al_truism]

Another little shiver, but he bites down a finger and listens with keen interest.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Strike the first stroke heartbeat soft. Strike the second, about two seconds later, the same way. Continue this rate at the same light touch. Cover their entire buttocks. Then return to the centre of their buttocks and double the force- still keeping to a light pat, and increase the rate to once a second. Stop the whipping. Use your hands and mouth to pleasure, caress, and soothe them. Hug them, kiss their neck, tell them they're doing well, ask if they're all right. Ask if they're up to continuing.

If they say yes, begin tapping again, this time at a twice-a-second rate. Cover their buttocks and rear and thighs, then move up onto their back. Slowly and softly work up their shoulder blades and down, and give them two sudden, sharper strokes on their buttocks. Immediately resume the quick tapping and caress their body with your other hand.

Moe the patting around to their chest and lightly cover it. Give each nipple a dozen or so direct strokes with the crop's tip. Lightly tap their penis or vulva. Very lightly tap their testicles."

His voice warms, mellows, and he reaches down to stroke a little more at Al's hair- pulling just a tiny bit.

[al_truism]

The pull has him squirming a little, cheeks flushing.

"That's too slowly," he complains softly of the book, though his level of experience may have something to do with it.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Hush, it's for a first time with a new partner."

He laughs.

"Little pain slut. 'Move behind them and work up the backs of their thighs to their buttocks. Finish with three moderately sharp strokes against the lower half of their buttocks.

Stop the whipping. Press the front of your body against theirs and hug them. Let them rest their head on your shoulder. Hold them. Give them two squeezes and notice their reaction. Let there be a long moment of silence as you soothe their body.

Understand that being whipped, even if done utterly painlessly, often deeply touches the submissive's mind. They may tremble. Hold them. Soothe them. Tell them they did well and that you're pleased with them. If appropriate, kiss them and caress their breasts and genitals. They've earned a little pleasure, if only for being so brave. This might be enough for a very first whipping. Remember, even if it was ludicrously light in terms of the physical pain involved, it may have been a deeply emotional experience for them, and for you.'"

[al_truism]

Al goes a bit more quiet. If this had been how he'd been introduced to it, how different would his tastes be?

He nuzzles against Barma's hand, however he can reach.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

He smiles.

"We should try it one day. Hurting you without really hurting you. Letting you just feel warm and bright."

[al_truism]

"I might come undone," he admits, quietly. Being that vulnerable will do it.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"The last chapter is general advice and sayings."

He flips to that.

"Some of them are invaluable. 'You almost never get into serious trouble by going too slowly.

If you want to know what they're into, watch their eyes. They can't fake the eyes.

Think with your head.

How someone will react to erotic bondage is one thing. How they will react to erotic submission is a second, seperate reaction. How they will react to erotic pain is a third."

[al_truism]

"This is very good," he murmurs, and he will be sure to remember them all. It sounds like common sense, but to have it spelled out clearly is helpful.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"If it's going to go bad, it usually goes bad in isolation.

It's much more important that a first session not end badly than it end really, really well.

The main characteristic of a top-quality dominant is trustworthiness.

There's nothing 'only' about being a bottom, particularly about being a good bottom.

SM can play with primordial fears such as helplessness in the face of something powerful."

[al_truism]

"Is there anything about being a bottom in there?" Al settles, curious.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Very little. The author is a top- but I'll find you something on it next time."

Thumbing through again.

"He does have interesting perspectives on SM versus abuse. Warning signals. Cautions about who to avoid playing with;

'If you are considering taking the submissive role, understand that SM (just like kitchen knives and the family car) has strong abuse potential. Also understand that the person with the greatest ability to prevent your beang abused, perhaps even- God forbid!- murdered, is you. One major way you prevent this is by being very cautious about who ties you up, and under what circumstances, and how.

Once you're bound, you're at that other person's mercy. If they're crazy, drunk, stoned, a psychopath, or enraged, your life is in danger. Never let yourself be tied up if you don't feel absolutely safe. Never make exceptions.'

Honestly, I approve of the common sense behind the statement, but I find it a little problematic. You're well within your right to expect not to be murdered, it should be a community value to try to weed out unsafe players."

[al_truism]

Al nods, looking distant and worried.

"... I've let this happen. It ended well, but it would have been so easy for it to have ended with me hurt."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"That isn't your fault."

Kissing the top of his head.

"But nor is it something I'd recommend. I like you whole and happy."

[al_truism]

Al smiles, and settles close.

"How did you ever start out in this?"

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"Unlike Break's humble beginnings as a kitchen boy over the knee of his cook, there's something of a culture of practitioners among the nobility. Particularly the ones belonging to my culture. Each month, I used to travel by carriage to a party where you could meet people with similar interests. Remember the dungeons and stages I was telling you about?"

He smiles.

"I happen to know that a close, mutual friend taught him his safewords, protocol, and safety concerns. Her education came from our circle. He means well with you, but he came to all this second hand."

[al_truism]

Al nods, thoughtfully, and touches Barma's lips. "You've always looked much younger in your illusions," he prompts, curiously.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I'm your age."

He smiles.

"Not particularly subtle, I suppose- but I wanted to give you an image or two of a healthy approach to this sort of thing, by someone like you. Not to malign poor Ryo, of course, but I wouldn't have you following his example, and I wouldn't think seeing him would be a particularly reaffirming experience."

[al_truism]

"No, it wouldn't." A little sadly. He adores Ryo, but he figured out very early on that he isn't safe with this sort of thing.

"Were you actually my age when you did those things-?"

Thanks to Adstringendum, Al looks young even for eighteen.

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

"I started at seventeen. Which, when you're sixty seven, counts as 'your age,' wretch."

Swatting his ass.

[al_truism]

Al gasps, then laughs, sticking out his tongue.

"I'm trying to remember whether I'd had my birthday before I started with Break."

[info-barma.livejournal.com]

Barma tugs him a little closer, shifting the book into one hand so he can wrap an arm about him.

"Any act in particular you're curious about hearing his take on? He has a few more gratifyingly graphic passages."

[al_truism]

Al leans happily into the touch, pressing his lips briefly against his neck.

"I'd like to hear them," he admits, a little breathy at the thought.